Kim Jennings

Folk Songstress ~ Indie Edge

#Trust30: Dare to be Bold

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Today’s Prompt: Dare to be bold by Matt Cheuvront

Again, dare me to be unrealistic.  Okay.  I’m in.

Maybe my so-called dreams are unrealistic, just a little bit.  But how I get to them has to be very real.

I have to believe that anything is possible in order to get out of my own way.  I sometimes find myself thinking, “If only I didn’t have to worry about…” and that’s when I get myself into trouble.

Matt Cheuvront asks today, “What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but been afraid to pursue?”  One thing?  ONE thing?  Ha ha, very funny.

I don’t think this is my problem at all.  I’m pretty sure I’m not afraid of pursuing anything anymore.  Come on – I’ve gone skydiving three times.  That’s more than anyone else in my family combined, to the best of my knowledge.

My problem is figuring out what one thing I want to do FIRST, taking that and translating it into daily steps.  And then, doing the work, every single day.  That’s why the post-it question from Friday was such a good exercise for me.  And why, I realized after I wrote about being rational yesterday, that maybe I’m still selling myself short on doing something amazing, something huge, something wildly innovative and also mostly irrational.

The thing is, I feel like CRAP today.  I woke up with my stomach in knots, and within a few hours had a headache that prevented me from sleeping off the “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” feeling.  Literally could not move myself out of bed this morning.  Usually I’d attribute this to a weekend with lots of gigging after a really hard week of 12-14 hour days at my day job, but not this time.  I think I am just plain wiped, ate something bad, and my body is reacting (as it should).

Yet I am here, writing this.  It’s not herculean.  It’s just doing the work.  It’s the end of the day, I don’t feel great but…here I am.

Ok.  So the 2nd part of Matt’s challenge is to write down the obstacles in my way, and a tangible plan for each obstacle.  Yes, this is exactly what I need.  The workplan, the roadmap…the daily commitment steps, the awareness, the constant reminder to be mindful.  Thank you, Matt.

Obstacle # 1: At the moment is that I only really know what I *don’t* want.  What I really need is to identify what I DO want.

Obstacle #2: After getting through Obstacle # 1, there will be some combination of fear of change, fear of financial instability, and possibly fear of success…fear of commitment…fear of rejection, and fear of failure.  And it’s entirely possible (probable, the more I think about it) that fear is what’s keeping me from articulating what I do want in the first place.

Side note: for what it’s worth, I think I’m more afraid of success than of failure.  Success means real change will have to happen, in areas of my life over which I have less control.  Failure means things will continue as they are.  On the other hand, I don’t believe in failure, not really…since I don’t ever plan on giving up anyway.

How to get through the obstacles:

  1. Go back to my original list of career goals/music business plans.
  2. Identify and write down goals for each of the next three years.
  3. Break down, then write down, this year’s goals into quarters – then weeks.
  4. Figure out where the time is going to come from.  Write it down.
  5. Tell a trusted friend to help keep me accountable.
  6. Start working on goal 1 TOMORROW.

Kim Jennings Music Trust30 Writing Challenge

Author: Kim Jennings

Singer-songwriter, Birch Beer Records co-founder, Great Molasses Flood drummer girl and harmony lover, girl geek, working mom. Lover of acoustic beauty and indie rock. 'Nuff said? If not, check out: ~ ~ ~

One Comment

  1. It’s an old rule, but I learned it from C.S. Lewis: If you make first things first, you get “it all”, but if you make second things first, you lose both the first things and the second things.

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